I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.

I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Even the Republican Party doesn't have the legs to challenge Hillary Clinton.