As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.

The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.