As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.

I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.

Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.