A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.

People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.

There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.