A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.