Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.

Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.

Jews are told that they should spend their lives helping others and when they make a lot of money it really bothers them. So, as a way to decrease their guilt, they try to help the underdog. They think, "Why should I be rich when so many suffer?" They feel better once they run to the party that claims to defend the underdog, the Democrats.

The New York Times distorts and defrauds the news and then claims to be impartial. They never give an even-handed version of the news - that's the last thing they'd ever do.

The New York Times claims that they publish all the news that's fit to print but what they really do is print all the news that supports their agenda. What they are is the power base of the left.