Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.

A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

I have no idea what's going to happen with America in the future.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.