All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.

Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The only thing is, they get it for less.

Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.