You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.