You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.