You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

There's no down time any more.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.