You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.