You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.