You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.