You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.