The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.