You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.