You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.