You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and it's about comin' home. It's real music sung by real people for real people, the people that make up the backbone of this country. You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.