You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.