You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'