You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.