You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.