When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.