If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.