If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.