If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, "Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.