If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.