You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.