You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.