You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.