You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.