You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community.

If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.