You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.