You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.