You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, "Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.