You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.