You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'