You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.