You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.