You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.