You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.