That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.