It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.