You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.