If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.