You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.