You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.