You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.