You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.