I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.