You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.