You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right