You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.