You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.