You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.