You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.