We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.