Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'