You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'