You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.