You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.