You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.