You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.