You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.