You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, "Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.