You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.