You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.