You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.