You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.