You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.