You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.