By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.