If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.