You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.