You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.