You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.