For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!