For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.