For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

There's no down time any more.