For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.