You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.