You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.