You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.